A New Start...

Gosh time has flown over the last few weeks and I have not made it on to my blog...but I have been doing a lot of thinking and came to the conclusion that NOW is the time I need this blog and a change of heart and perspective more than ever before.

Those close to me know the last couple of years have been my own little private hell, my Gethsemane in a way - Neal A Maxwell said we would all have to pass through at least one (although please dont think I am trying to even contemplate it being like the Saviour but Elder Maxwell said we would all face those times in life that we can't see how we will ever make it through).   Well here I am...still standing...and at the point where I choose what to make of this next year.  Will I give it all I can to make it a better one?!  Never in my wildest imaginings did I realise how tough life can get, I have always been the 'pink and fluffy' one, the 'jolly' one who carries on regardless - this period of time robbed me of that ability at times and I began to lose the 'me' that I liked. 

Now I am finally facing up to a new reality, one which doesnt let me have the things I want or desperatly tried to hold onto,  but instead a learning to accept the things the Lord wants me to have!!  It is time to step up and become the woman the Saviour needs me to be!!!!  Time to earn the forgiveness of those I have let down, time to show that I love the Lord more than anything else and I will do all within my power to love Him and give Him my whole heart :-)

One way I am overcoming those moments of deep sadness and finding the jolly me again is looking for those tender mercies every day of my life.  And dont you just love that when you really look for them they can turn the saddest day around:-)

Just recently we lost a dear sister in our ward who had been unwell for some time.  She had the most profound effect on me!!!  If ever there was a sister I want to be like it was her!  She LOVED everyone.  If she saw you sad, or lonely or frustrated there would be a hug, a smile, a rub on the arm and most likely a following phone call or card in the post.  She was single like me, but never once did that stop her moving and being so utterly celestial!!!!!  I will miss her dreadfully - I do miss her dreadfully, but I will never be the same again for knowing her!  I will follow her example and be the woman I can be, the woman the Lord needs me to be!!

So it is a pivotal year for me...and to help me I have made some goals.  I am sharing them here so I have some responsibility to keep at them :-)  Some are too personal to share but here goes:

* I am working on two courses (one is OU) - I will do my best and give them my greatest effort.  I will stick with them and finish !!!!!

* I will be using the sacrament to report back to the Lord and covenant each Sunday to do better.

* I am going to do all I can to improve my health (including the dreaded course of action of healthy eating!!!!  ANYONE who knows me knows how hard I find that one!!!)

* I will be a better Visiting Teacher.

* I will be a better friend.  I have a lot of lovely amazing people in my life who have stood by me this last two years when I have been a selfish sad brat!!!  They loved me WAY more than I deserved.  I will be the friend this year that they deserve :-)  I love them way more than I could ever explain.

* I will keep to a tight budget and save!!!  (again not my forte but hey a girl can change!)

* And lastly I will complete another 75,000 names on Family Search Indexing.  It is the very least I can do to show thanks to the Lord.

So bring it on 2012 - cos the Jolly Sara is jumping up ready to take advantage of every moment :-) 

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days...

Okay maybe thats a bit of an exaggeration, but it's been a funny old mix of things occuring these last few days but with my re-discovered positiveness I can see the good side :-)

* My car broke down on the way to the Christmas Music Festival - however I managed to drive it to my dads house and was able to sit in the warm while waiting for the Green Flag man! 

* I couldnt drive to church yesterday - but my brother and dad took me / picked me up and both got to visit with old friends at church!!

* I had to get the car fixed - however my garage fitted me in TODAY and I had enough money to pay the bill (just! but enough none the less)

*He reminded me that my cam belt is due for replacement shortly - Hmmm £500 - oh well at least he reminded me and I can start my car saving fund once Christmas is done :-)

* I had my CT scan at the hospital. And it was SO SO SO much better than that awful MRI machine!!  LOL. The radiographer spotted something that may well be causing my migraines!!!  If he is correct (it needs to be confirmed by the consultant) it can be helped.  This will mean a few lifestyle changes from me but they can only help my overall health so that is no bad thing.

* I had a GREAT day at church yesterday - Mel and Dianne said things that really touched my heart and made me feel so happy :-) 

* I received a compliment for my SS lesson - a couple were visiting and said I should be a professional teacher :-)  How kind was that!!  It made my day!

* I was provided with some help yesterday that is going to change my life :-)  I am now a woman with a plan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So actually it didnt really have a bad point at all...all is well in the land of Sara :-)

Even Today....

I have had a rotten headache for a couple of days which consequently turned into one of those much dreaded migraines...it is just now going.  Could it be that even on a day like this there are tender mercies...

Well Of Course There Were!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* I am so grateful for medication...that even though it takes time to work and sometimes takes several tablets, how amazingly blessed we are that we live in a world with medication :-)

* It made me reflect on how blessed I am to live in a country with the NHS - where we can see a Doctor, visit a hospital and recieve treatment no matter the size of our bank account.  The NHS and this country are far from perfect but this is an enormous blessing as is the freedom we have to live as we wish :-)

* Today not being at work and lying down a lot I had time to think and ponder...I love those quiet moments when you really can just think and mediatate on life, God and everything in between.  Today my thoughts were on how blessed I am.  I have a Father in Heaven and Saviour who love me and have endless patience (thank goodness!!!).  I am grateful for the strength to make some recent but very needed changes of perception and priorities in life which are giving me a greater relationship with them and much happiness :-)  :-)  :-)

* Gratitude for a chance over the last few days to work on a service project...lots of colouring and crafitness involved.  Oh how jolly!!!

* Happy that when Mum got out the Christmas decorations and tree from the cupboard where it has been stashed for 12 months I discovered some of my missing craft items!!!  Ooh that will get the creative juices going.

* Thankful for inspiration on my Sunday School lesson this week which teaches me much more than I am sure I manage to teach my students!  I have really enjoyed studying Revelations this week.I am so thankful for the scriptures.  Oh and in my ponderings I realised I am a bit behind on my goal to finish the Book of Mormon by the end of the year (I keep getting pulled away by The Peacegiver and Believing Christ as well as my Sunday School readings!)...so I have to read 8 or 9 pages a day now this month to finish my goal.  How exciting, I can lose myself in the BOM every day!  Yay!!!

* So pleased to have my lovely cats Toffee and Fudge - big bundles of joy who make me laugh and give me cuddles.

Today was not as I planned and not as I would choose but I cannot deny the tender mercies, they just keep on coming :-)

xxx

Trust...Do we really???

I read something that really made me think last night...I am now onto Stephen E Robinson's 2nd book Following Christ (thank you Julia!!) and it is as amazing as the first one!  I am not on commission (lol) but seriously these books will change your life...you have to read them!

Anyway he was talking about trusting in the Saviour.  In the pre-exsitence we trusted Jesus Christ so much that we were willing to come down here to earth, knowing that if He didn't do what He said He would do, we were in REAL trouble.  We would never make it back home again!!  BUT we knew the Saviour and we trusted Him enough, we knew He wouldn't let us down.  That is some amount of faith isnt it? 

So why do we struggle so much now?  If only we could just believe and trust that He has ALWAYS done what He said He will do - not once has He let us down and He is not going to now.  He went through the most immense pain and trauma and distress for me and for you, so He will not let us down now, no way.  How we must have rejoiced that the plan was complete and we could one day come home again!

What a tender mercy that is :-)  To have the sure knowledge of a Saviour who is always there.  I trusted Him before, I will trust Him now. 

On smaller mercies....a wonderful visit from my VT together with chocolate cake, a task at work which was just perfect for me on a very tired day, a crafty evening and an evening with my little Beaver Scouts to look forward at Pets R Home!!  Yay...life is happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Magic Moments...

This weekend was so busy this is my first chance to catch up - but it was a weekend full of magic moments :-)  So here where the highlights of the tender mercies...

* We had a SA day on Saturday.  It was fabulous fun, I met new friends, was served an amazingly yummy Christmas dinner (including chocolate dessert!!  yum yum), topped off by an inspiring fireside.  BUT what was best of all was the knowledge that even in a family orientated church (as it should be!) there is always a place for me!!!  It doesnt matter that we dont always meet the 'ideal' what we are is good enough.  We have a wonderful stake presidency who showed us that :-) 

* Sunday got even better!!!  I had asked 3 of my Sunday School class to bear their testimonies to the class of how they felt their Saviours love :-)  Oh my goodness - they were amazing and had the entire class in tears.  Sarah as she told of how the Lord was directing her life to places she could find happiness and joy.  Sue as she talked of how she was told to place her hand in the Lords and He would lead her home.  And Jeremy - please dont go and eat worms, we love you!!!  He bore such a touching testimony of when life seems to be getting at you from all angles it is the love of the Lord that gets us through.  The spirit they brought was amazing.  When I look at the members of my class - I feel overwhelmed that the Lord put me there to teach them, when they are such special, and righteous people.  I am gonna miss my class so much come January :-(

* So how do I know the Lord loves me....well of course at the top of the list is the Saviours sacrifice for me, and even more so that in Gethsemane He chose to know exactly HOW I feel in every moment. He chose to go through it all, not just my sins but my illness, sadness, discouragement - absolutely EVERYthing.  Closely followed by this plan of happiness, so I really can go home one day.  But its all the little things, the invites to come stay at friends homes and be pampered, the little messages I get every day, the scriptures - oh most definetly the scriptures, the fact I have knowledge of it all, my family who stand with me through it all, that I am of the House of Isreal, that I have the comfort of the Holy Ghost and day by day learn to recognise and feel it even more, General Conference, Local leaders who are just fabulous, a bed to sleep on, food to eat, a beautiful world to live in...does it get any better.  Does He love me...you bet He does.

Does He love you?  Just start counting the ways - you will be amazed!!!

How Firm A Foundation....

Blogging a bit early tonight...Do you know what my life has really changed completely from reading the book Believing Christ..I know, I know I keep going on about this book but it has made me think through the atonement in such a different way :-)

Do you know we are linked with the Saviour and that whatever we manage to do, as long as we have tried is enough!!  If I can manage 25% that is Ok cos the Lord is ready and willing to make up the rest, but if my best is just 2% thats still Ok, cos He will still make it up :-)  Did you know we have already been accepted into the Lord's kingdom and will make it, unless WE choose to opt out and why on earth would we?  So no longer do we have to worry that our best is not good enough.  As long as we try - sincerely try - and don't choose to opt out we are promised exaltation. How jolly and amazing is that !!!

I had a wonderful prayer this morning and it started off an amazing day!

On a nice drive into work I was singing along to myself as I often do (be glad you are not there is is not a pretty sound but I dont mind - lol) and into my head came the hymn How Firm A Foundation.  And one single sentence stood out to me today..."As thy days may demand so thy succor shall be".

Succor is one of those words I love, the idea that when you need Him the Saviour will come running to assist you, if you will just turn to Him.  But this phrase taught me today that the Saviour is in it for the long haul :-)  So when I am having a good day and He doesnt have to come running quite so much that's great...but when I am having one of those days when things seem to be coming apart at the seam, then thats still ok - if my day demands more succor, more rescuing, more running too thats ok too - cos the Lord is in for the long run!!!  He is with me no matter what !!!

But it didnt stop there...at work I sit next to a lovely man from India who at lunchtime shared a tragic event in his family with me that occured just a few months ago and he sat there testifying of His God - how lovely to hear that in what is usually such a worldly atmosphere.

But the tender mercies are all around us - I am thankful I felt pretty well today, that I ate some Maltesers with my lunch (yum yum - my fav!), that I have wonderful friends who send me uplifting messages, that I have a mobile phone where I can carry a church bookshop, scriptures, and General Conference with me, that I have an evening where I can curl up inside all cosy, that the grocery shopping is done for the week and of course that the weekend has arrived!!!!!! 

Am I blessed?  I think I am :-)  But what is he VERY best thing of all is that I am starting to realise just how much !!!

Yay !!!

Believing Christ

What an amazing day - absolutely bursting full of tender mercies of the very best kind...

Someone recently suggested to me that I should read the book Believing Christ by Stephen E Robinson - all I can say is WOW!!!!!!    If you have ever wondered how you can possibly make it back home to Heavenly Father, how you can possibly find someone who understands how to make things right, who loves you immeasurably just as you are...if you have days when everything feels too much and you never think you will manage to be the person you need to be, you HAVE to read this book :-)  It has touched me to the very core and given me hope :-)

I love my Saviour, I love Him -  Jesus Christ - my Elder Brother, my Redeemer.  I just Love Him. And together arm in arm I will get home again, because He knows the way and I am sticking right by His side :-)

I also was told today of a dear friend who prays for me every day and it means the world to me and on top of all that loveliness today my Home Teachers came to see me, with a lovely spirit and care.

And they even had Hersheys chocolate kisses on offer at Asda today - yum yum.

Tender mercies...it seems when you look for them they fill your every single day - how amazing and exciting is that :-)

Amazing friends...

Well...tender mercies of today.  I have been most blessed indeed with an abundance of people who care about me - even though I can assure you that I do not deserve it !!!

I haven't always made the best choices in life, and today I am grateful for a special friend who had the courage to tell me some harsh but true words.  Who told me things as they really are - harsh to hear sometimes but has enabled me to ponder and think about how to be the person I want to be :-)  Where on earth would we be without friends!!!

Lunchtime today was very special - lunch with 3 amazing women.  Each of them shows me an abundance of love and care.  One, THE most caring lady I know, she is one of my dearest friends - if anyone is in need she will the first on the spot, how I wish to be more like her!  One who loved me enough to speak those harsh words and has made a real difference to me today. I adore her.  The other, my newest friend in whom I see courage and love in all she does and overcomes - how I look forward to learning to be more like her too :-) I admire her already!!

Tender mercies indeed :-)

Welcome...

Well here goes, my first step into the world of blogging !!!

I read a wonderful article by a leader of our church yesterday - Elder David A Bednar spoke of 'The tender mercies of the Lord' and it touched my heart.  Tender Merices are those amazing blessings that come to us from God - those tiny things that happen each day that could so easy be sidelined as consequences, but actually make our life so amazing and lovely.

Life has a habit of throwing some hard things our way...so in my jolly way I have determined enough is enough...the world can do what it likes but my focus is going back to those wonderful, joyous blessings that come every day :-)

So what happened that was jolly today....I had the best nights sleep I have had in weeks, I had a nice peaceful drive into work and  then various notes and messages from friends showing they care.  Does it get any better than that?   Well that remains to be seen....lets see what tender mercies are in the pipeline for tomorrow...

Come and join me in my world of jolliness and spread a bit of joy - and please let me know the tender mercies in your day.....  Remember Gratitude turns what I have into enough.